Imagine being a kid, all alone, and carrying the weight of a dark secret. For many teens, that’s how they describe using porn. What begins as a curiosity quickly becomes a compulsion. Breaking free feels nearly impossible. Now, imagine being that same kid and finding out you have a whole team supporting you: parents and friends that love you enough to tackle the porn talk. And help you find true freedom from pornography!
I had the privilege this week of meeting and talking with Smith Alley. By all accounts Smith is your average seventeen-year-old. He goes to high school. He loves to play football and lacrosse. He loves to connect and hang out with friends. In his spare time he works on his motorcycle and fixes up old cars. Plus, he’s set up his own company to help families tackle the porn talk and stay safe online.
Like many teens today, Smith struggled with internet pornography and a growing dependence on social media. He was only eight when he saw porn online for the first time. By fourteen it was a daily habit he felt he couldn’t control. It consumed him—literally sucking the joy out of his life. On the outside, it looked like everything was great. This was his secret. But on the inside, he was hurting and needed help!
Why tackle the porn talk now!
Smith credits his parents as major players on his journey to freedom from pornography. They caught his search history and they called him out for it. More than that, they wrapped him in love and assured him of their full support. Recovery became a team effort. Smith put in the work; he decided for himself to reject pornography. But his parents helped him stick to his goals. Learn more by listening to the full episode.
In this episode:
- ALERT: Consider teen moodiness as a warning sign—not a phase. Kids are meant to experience joy! But they also have to deal with big emotions. Internet pornography often becomes a coping mechanism.
- Recovery is a team effort. Smith admits he wasn’t happy when his parents got “in his business” about his tech use. In retrospect however, he knows it was their continued support that helped him find freedom from pornography.
- Finding new focus. Turning to hobbies and real-life relationships is key to overcoming pornography use. Smith took it a step further though. He now helps families in his community improve tech safety in their homes.
- Live. Life. Bigger. Smith continues to talk openly about his past struggles. He wants teens to know they’re not alone. And that anyone can find freedom from pornography.
Episode challenge
Smith says that EVERY teen struggles with SOMETHING. His challenge for parents is to approach the porn talk with a different focus. Rather than asking, “Have you ever struggled with porn?”, say, “What are you struggling with today? What is challenging in your life?” Then follow up with, “How can we help you?” Approach your teen with love, support, and acceptance. Remind them that you’re there to help them reconnect with joy in their life.
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More about today’s guest
Smith Alley is a young man born and raised in Utah. After many years struggling with pornography and social media, he has found himself in a place to help others.
Links/Resources
Ep. #2-23, Help! My Kid is Looking at Pornography
Ep. #2-31, Dear Savvy: Will talking to my kids about porn ruin their childhood innocence?
Ep. #2-33, Dear Savvy: Will talking about porn make my kids go looking for it?
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