Put Your Oxygen Mask On First: Taking Time for Self-Care When Your Kids Have Porn Problems

In today’s show, we’ll outline 3 strategies to help parents overcome the suffocating fear of having a child who is addicted to pornography.

Related Article: My Child Needs Help: 6 Practical Ways to Put Your Oxygen Mask On First

Everyone knows when the cabin pressure drops, you must put your own oxygen mask on before attending to others. That’s tough advice for parents to swallow. Even in the best of times we’re apt to put our kids’ needs ahead of our own. But when it comes to helping a child let go of a compulsion to use pornography, it’s crucial that we have a dependable source of air to help us maintain steady breathing patterns. After all, it’s going to be important to take regular calming breaths as we face the journey ahead.

Here are 3 strategies to help you “keep breathing” when you discover your child has a porn problem:

Find Help at Home

(Self-care, Family, and Friends)

-Give yourself permission to take care of you!

-It’s not selfish–it’s survival. Consider the stages of grief. Be gentle with yourself.

-It’s so important that our kids see us taking care of ourselves because they will model our behavior. Give them a healthy pattern to follow in their lives.

-It’s ok to ask for help. No no man is an island.

-Sometimes we need a friend more than we need another article. That’s how we came together at Media Savvy Moms–and really the purpose behind our podcast. We need to talk and connect with other humans!

-Sometimes we sacrifice too much to the duty of parenting. (kids, kids, kids)

-Take time to exercise, meditate, vent, be creative, express gratitude, rest, etc.

-Reach out to friends and family.

-Give friends/family the opportunity to validate your feelings. If they’re not supportive, don’t get discouraged.

-Be brave: bring up the topic of pornography generally if you need to.

Check out Fortify, a program specifically designed to help teens and adults reach long-lasting freedom from pornography. (Free for teens!)

Find Help in the Community

(Counseling, Coaching, and Support Groups)

-Think of the scene in the movie Sully and the role of the flight attendants. Sometimes we need professionals (outsiders) to come in and have a clear head in traumatic situations. They are trained for this.

-Get help for your child, but don’t forget to get help for yourself too!

-If you’re intimidated with the idea of counseling or support groups, maybe take a buddy.

-Trained professionals and support groups can offer perspective that friends/family can’t offer and empower you with tools to achieve your goals.

-This is partly what led Marilyn to become a Parenting Coach. 

Find Help Online

(Books, Articles, and Resources)

-Online communities can allow you to connect and share experiences with people who might not be in your immediate community.

-Look for resources to help you understand the addiction cycle (Habit/Behaviors/Addiction).

-Self-help books and real-life accounts can give you perspective and hope. They may also help you understand what your kids are going through. Storytelling is a very powerful tool! Here are a couple of great examples. These two stand out to us because they are so full of light and hope!

Beggar’s Daughter by Jessica Harris (female addiction recovery story)

Life After Lust by Forest Benedict (male addiction recovery story)

-Searching for resources online can be overwhelming. Try to focus on resources specifically for parents.

-We could do a whole show highlighting our favorites (and we probably will!), and we’ll have guests on the show from lots of different organizations. Here are just a few of our allies in the parenting niche: Parents Aware, Safeguard Alliance, Fight the New Drug, Protect Young Minds, Educate and Empower Kids, Strength to Fight, Protect Young Eyes.

Episode Challenge

Whether you have a child who is struggling with pornography or not, find one way to focus on self-care this week, and do it! Read a book, exercise, meditate, take a hot bath … do something just for you!

Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed the show, please leave a positive review or tell a friend!

Start Talking Today

Want to start talking to your kids about tricky topics, but don’t know how? We’ve got you covered! Click below to download our FREE guide, 10 Surprisingly Natural Ways to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography.  

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Media Savvy Moms Podcast

Who knew honest conversations about parenting and pornography could be so approachable? Join Marilyn for a series of contemplations, chats, and interviews as she helps fellow parents tackle this challenging topic with their kids.

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