Kid Lingo: What is My Child Talking About?

Kid lingo, teenspeak, slang … whatever you want to call it, we old folks are out of the loop. But what are our kids saying? Which words are just for fun? And which are cause for concern? Let’s talk about it!

We consider ourselves to be pretty cool parents. But our kids think we’re cringey or a little extra. Wait … are we even using these terms correctly? We are? Groovy! 

Yeah, we just ruined it, didn’t we? (*sigh*)

Kid lingo has gone highspeed

Language is always evolving. But it seems like these days, it’s evolving faster than ever. Add internet, social media, memes, digital devices, texting, and you have a linguistic cocktail that is bound to leave any parent in the dust. And it’s not just teens! Even our elementary-age kids seem to be in the know about slang and “meme culture.” Meanwhile, we are left scratching our heads.

In a world where sexuality and violence have saturated—well everything—of course, they’ve found their way into kid lingo as well. And so we are left to wonder, are our kids talking about sexual and/or violent things right under our noses in the code-language of slang and memes? 

The answer is yes. And no. Okay, the answer is…sometimes. 

Becoming cool with kid lingo

In reality, we just need to do our best to bridge the gap and create open communication—as always! After all, they are doing their best to figure everything out in this crazy world, just like we are. We love this quote from Netsanity:

“By learning our way around the tricky language of our teens we allow ourselves to not only build a stronger bond with them but also know when they’re in potential danger.” (emphasis added)

So let’s break it down. Today we’ll be discussing how:

1. We’re not kids anymore (*sniffle*)
2. Some slang can hurt–or indicate distress
3. You can decode kid lingo: Use these tools! 

We’re not kids anymore (pssst…we’re getting old) 

Can we even keep up? Kid lingo is ever-evolving. In prepping for the show, we had so many stories about being on the outside of the conversation, we really didn’t know where to start! LOL

Marilyn has a thread going with her kids on facebook messenger, and they know that her default response to their memes is a crying emoji—“That means I’m clueless,” she says.

There are several reasons why kids use slang and codes: Sometimes, to be sneaky or deviant. Often, to create their own identity or fit into social groups. But always, to express their growing independence from us—the old people! 

Kids use codes to communicate with each other in text, slang, emojis. Recently there has been a shift to more visual forms of communication between kids like memes and gifs (not so text-heavy). 

”Meme culture” is a thing. A basic meme uses a photo with (unrelated) text to make a statement on a current cultural phenomenon or social idea. It’s usually in good fun. But here’s where it gets confusing. Our kids tell us, “You don’t even have to see the original meme, to know what everyone’s talking about.” Somehow, kids just know! (Love this meme explainer by Cyberwise)

For example, Rickrolling is a prank where a visitor who clicks on a specific link is intentionally misdirected to a video of pop star Rick Astley’s hit “Never Gonna Give You Up.” (If only all link misdirections could be so innocent!)

Here’s a little Rickrolling IRL for ya!

Some kid lingo can hurt—or indicate distress

Unfortunately, kid lingo is not all fun and innocence. The old adage, “sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” just isn’t true! Words can hurt feelings and put our kids at risk. 

We need to watch out for our kids and their friends using reckless language and be aware of when slang perpetuates sexual objectification.

• Help kids to think about the language they use and memes they share.
• Teach kids to avoid brutal/racist/derogatory slang, and teach them the reasons WHY. 
• Be aware that some kids are purposely modifying words or using language that evades filters so they can discuss violent or sexual topics online (like hooking up or suicide).
• As always, we need to teach our kids to be critical thinkers.

Related: Survival Instincts: The New Language of Tween Girls (ParentsAware)

There are some specific categories we need to watch out for when it comes to kid lingo and conversation in general.

Racism

Kids sometimes use racial slurs as a term of endearment (I know, crazy) or tease each other with reference to race. Talk to your kids about this and teach them this is never okay. 

Sex

There’s a trend today to put sexualized language into mainstream speech. When you take the time to think about what is actually being said—it’s disturbing. To help keep humanity in check we need to not allow ourselves (or our kids) to become desensitized to the real meaning of the words we hear and see. Here are some specific examples:  

• Wordporn: used to describe beautiful handwriting, poetry or speech. (Similarly, any word placed before “porn” to describe something that is highly desirable, beautiful, or tasty.)
• TV shows with titles like Pawn Stars (which is about a pawn shop) or Chasing Tail (which is about deer hunting). Although these shows have nothing to do with sex, they make clear reference to porn culture. 
• Pimped out:  used to describe added accessories to make it look cooler (i.e., He “pimped out” his ride with a new paint job, big speakers and chrome wheels).
• Ear rape: used to describe terrible music that you hate. (Similarly, any word placed before “rape” for things that bother you or are unpleasant.)

Drugs

Sometimes mainstream terms have their roots in drug culture, but no longer reflect that reference. These terms might not always be directly dangerous, but we need to be alert and teach our kids to think critically about why they are using these words. (i.e. Kids use the word “dank” to mean “cool,” or we might say “my brain is fried” because we are worn out, but both of these are actually references to marijuana.) 

Self-harm

Kids might be texting or posting with reference to suicide as a cry for help. Or, even worse, some kids receive cyberbullying attacks where peers encourage them to kill themselves. Here are some terms to watch out for that are all references to suicide and self-harm:

• Deathpacito is a pop culture reference to the song “Despacito” which is the Spanish word for “slowly.” Essentially, deathpacito is slang for “killing yourself slowly” and is often used by kids on public forums and through text because it is not a real word, and therefore not flagged by filters and parental controls. 
• Ana and Thinsp are references to anorexia and eating disorders.
• Sue is code for suicide.

Dark humor

Kids will sometimes use insults or derogatory names in an effort to be funny or because they are “just teasing.” Also, kids can become a “different person online.” Talk about these subjects openly at home. Help kids understand that there is always a real person on the other side of the conversation. Teach them to put themselves in the other person’s shoes. 

Tools and techniques to decode kid lingo

Language will continue to grow and change, and before you know it, the things we are talking about right now will be outdated! Even this show is only one point in time. For that reason, we want to teach you about techniques and tools to deal with these issues, rather than only giving you long lists of slang words and what they mean. 

Here are some specific suggestions:

Ask your kids. 

If you hear a word (or see a meme) and don’t know what it means, ask the experts—your children! Kids like to feel important. Like we’re interested in their life. And they LOVE IT when they know things we don’t. Remember, we always want to create a safe place, like a Construction Site, where we can talk to our kids about anything! And that includes crazy kid lingo. 

Start a family group text. 

Create a thread wherever your family hangs out—on a text message, in a facebook chat, etc. Communicate regularly. Share funny stuff and serious stuff. Take selfies. LOL together. Share memes and gifs. Use it for “show and tell.” 

Follow “Ye Olde Speak.” 

Bark has a hilarious series on their blog and social media where they post about teen slang and define different words on a regular basis. It will keep you laughing and get you in the loop at the same time! 

Post a question in the Parenting in a Tech World facebook group. 

This private forum, also hosted by Bark, is a fabulous place to ask all your questions about raising the digital generation. We are in this group, along with more than 50 thousand other parents and members of the staff from Bark. Usually, when we post questions, people start replying within just a few minutes! Let’s all figure out this stuff together.

Related: Want to protect your kids on social media? Try a 30-day FREE trial of the Bark app! 

Do a Google search. 

If you are curious about a specific slang word, you can always Google it. Or, if you want a list of slang terms, we have found some of the most effective search terms to be: “slang dictionary for parents” or “teenage slang words 2019” (insert the current year). 

More Links/Resources: Want results right now? Check out the links below. 

Urban Dictionary – a crowdsourced online dictionary for slang words and phrases (Warning: some definitions might be vulgar and/or contain profanity)
Teen Slang Guide – Netsanity (updated for 2019)
The Teen Slang Dictionary for Parents – Very Well Family (updated Oct 2019)
17 slang words teens are using in 2019, and what they mean – Business Insider (Aug 2019)
Get hip to all the slang words and phrases your kids are using and what they mean, okurrr – USA Today (Feb 2019)
Parent Guide: Teen Slang Through the Ages – Bark (Jan 2019)
‘It’s lit’: The ultimate guide to decoding your teen’s text and speak – USA Today (Aug 2018)
Parents, Do You Know the Most Common Emojis Used in Sexting? – Educate and Empower Kids
Translating Slang for Parents (+ Text Codes) – Educate and Empower Kids
Parent Dictionary: Porn-Specific Search Engine Terms – Educate and Empower Kids

Talk today challenge: 

Want to start the conversation? This is a sure-fire fit. Choose a fun, trending slang term, and use it in a sentence when you’re talking to your kids. Wait for the reaction. Then let us know how it goes! Did you get an eye-roll? Did you both burst out laughing! Or are you just. that. cool? 

Email us or comment below. We can’t wait to hear from you! #talktodaysafertomorrow