“Eww That’s Gross!” Revisiting the Sex Talk

Have you ever had a sex talk with your kids that ended with a look of disgust? Why do we bother having these talks? Does building a foundation of healthy sexuality really help protect our kids from the harms of pornography? 

We’re back again … revisiting the sex talk. Do we sound like a broken record? Good! You should too. Because that’s awesome parenting!

If we have to remind our kids every day to wash their hands and brush their teeth, why should talking about vital topics like sex and pornography be any different? 

This is just one of the super sweet points our guest, Kayley Lynch, touched on in today’s podcast. You might remember Kayley from a previous blog post — “You mean it’s not a BA-jina?” (Check it out. It’s one of our greatest hits!)

Last time we touched base with Kayley, she was just getting over her mama-jitters and talking to her kids about sex. A few years have passed since then. So, we thought we’d follow up and see how things were going now. 

Not a one-and-done

Guess what? Sometimes, when we tell our kids things, they forget. Aha! You already know that, don’t you? 

Well, the same thing goes for sex and pornography. 

Like many of us, Kayley thought she had covered her bases. She had taught her kids about sex. And she was so proud of herself for being brave and getting it done! But then … one day in the car, her daughter asked her that big question again, and … it was like the first talk had never happened!

With more confidence, Kayley started over. All the details, biological facts, anatomically correct names, etc. She was pretty proud of herself. Then from the back seat she heard this whisper, “That … is … disgusting!” 

(Meanwhile her son, who was also in the car, was popping in and out of the conversation, too.) 

Tune in to hear her tell the story. So hilarious!

Ep. #2-12, Sex Talks for Daughters with Dina Alexander, Educate and Empower Kids

It just goes to show that we are never done with this conversation. And it’s okay to be a broken record! Think about all the repetition of UN-healthy messages regarding sex and porn in our world. Can we really instill healthy messages about sex into our children too many times? We don’t think so!

Tips from a mom in the trenches

Parenting is not for wimps. And we’re parenting in a digital world, which means we need to be doing all the normal parenting stuff AND talking about sex and pornography early and often.

Ep. #1-1, Get Off the Fence: Talk to Your Kids About Pornography

As a mom who is facing these challenges every day—and a parent who cares—Kayley had so many fabulous insights to share. Here are just a few (tune in for more!):

• The Internet can be a great resource when we’re engaged with our kids, sit side-by-side with them, and teach them how to use it as a tool, rather than just a diversion.

• Past generations have viewed sex as a taboo topic, shrouded with secrecy and shame, but it’s our job to change the conversation with our kids.

• We can talk to our kids about sex anytime, anywhere! Hijack the dinner conversation. Talk in the car. Just talk!

Linking the ‘sex talk’ and the ‘porn talk’

At Parents Aware, we talk a lot about healthy sexuality. And we talk a lot about protecting our children from the harms of pornography. But it is SO IMPORTANT that when we are teaching our children, we make a strong connection between these two concepts! Listen to our chat with Kayley for some tips on how to link the two together.

We’d like to think this task will get easier with practice. And it does! But also remember that it’s okay to be human. It’s okay to get butterflies every time a new conversation comes up. Because our children will always continue to challenge us—on every front! And this one is no different.

Ep. #1-16, Sex Talks Run Amok: Laugh, Relax and Carry On

Episode challenge

Take a moment to reflect on your own feelings about sexuality this week. Do you feel shame or taboo when the subject arises with your kids? How can you change that? Once you have resolved your own issues surrounding sex, choose a specific angle and talk to your kids about it. For age-appropriate topics, click here: bit.ly/MSMpodcast-easy-sex-talks.

Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed the show, please leave a positive review or tell a friend!

More about today’s guest

Kayley Lynch is a mother of four and educational assistant. She recently returned to school—on track to teach French and Canadian studies to High Schoolers. She also works part-time as an ASL-English Interpreter. Kayley, with her husband (best friend) and four kids (crazy) live in Oshawa, Ontario. Music is their jam (piano, violin, and the bagpipes!). In her spare time, she loves cycling in the countryside, napping, and eating delicious food. 

Links/Resources

Ep. #1-16, Sex Talks Run Amok: Laugh, Relax and Carry On

Ep. #1-17, Sex Talks Made Easy with Dina Alexander, Educate and Empower Kids

Ep. #2-12, Sex Talks for Daughters with Dina Alexander, Educate and Empower Kids

Ep. #2-10, Addressing Masturbation Without Shame

Ep. #2-19, 4 Essential Steps to Protect Kids from Pornography

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Media Savvy Moms Podcast

Who knew honest conversations about parenting and pornography could be so approachable? Join Marilyn for a series of contemplations, chats, and interviews as she helps fellow parents tackle this challenging topic with their kids.

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