Your child’s been caught looking at pornography again and again. How do you respond? Is it panic first? Quickly followed by a determination to “fix” the problem? Maybe you want to spring into action. Finding therapy for your child crosses your mind. Why? Because dealing with pornography is new to your parenting repertoire. But is therapy right for your child?
This episode is part of our #DearSavvy series. Sometimes you just want a quick answer to a burning question. These shorter episodes are designed to give you just that. Tune in to the podcast to hear the whole scoop, and check out the show notes for helpful tools and information.
Dear Savvy: Should I seek therapy for my child who’s been caught looking at pornography?
Dear Listener,
Discovering a child’s involvement with pornography is heartwrenching. It’s natural to think you need to look to outside help. But, speaking mom-to-mom, what your child needs most is you—your love, support, and understanding. So, press pause on that call to the therapist (at least for now). Allow time for emotions to settle. Decide with your child how to best move forward. Understand that recovery and healing will take time. And yes, it may eventually involve some form of counselling but it’s likely not necessary to jump there immediately. The exception being if your child is at risk for self-harm or is acting out against others.
In this episode:
- Level of involvement. Is it a curiosity or a compulsion? Take this quiz from Restoring Hearts Counseling to get a better understanding of the extent to which your child is struggling with pornography.
- When therapy is the right call. Pinpoint “why” you would consider professional therapy. Is it for your child? Or is it more for you? What are the outcomes you hope to achieve?
- Set boundaries together. Continue to have ongoing conversations. Regularly evaluate your child’s ability to move away from pornography. Identify your own abilities to support your child.
One thing we want to stress at Parents Aware is how important it is to believe in your child. As former First Lady, Lady Bird Johnson says, “Encourage and support your kids because children are apt to live up to what you believe of them.”
Episode challenge
To help you understand your child’s level of involvement with pornography take this quiz from Restoring Hearts Counselling. Use it as a conversation starting point or a baseline to consider next steps. Older children may like to use the quizz as a self-evaluation and then discuss the results with you.
Note: if you do decide to seek the help of a professional therapist look for services in your own community that align with your family values.
Do you have a question for Dear Savvy? Email us at admin@parentsaware.info, or submit your question through any of our social media platforms. We’d love to hear from you!
Links/Resources
Ep. #2-17, Is My Child or Teen Addicted to Porn? with Paul Lavergne, Turning Point Counselling Services
11 Signs That Your Child May Need a Therapist — Cleveland Clinic https://health.clevelandclinic.org/11-signs-your-child-may-need-a-therapist/
25 Questions — Pornography Addiction Checkup https://www.restoringheartscounseling.com/quiz/teen-pornography-addiction-checkup/
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