Dear Savvy: Will talking to my kids about porn ruin their childhood innocence?

Kids are hilarious, sweet, funny, joyful and INNOCENT! But growing up in a media-saturated world is tough business. There’s a lot that can threaten childhood innocence. Parents worry and wonder what is the best way to shelter kids. What if we looked at the issue differently?

This episode is part of our #DearSavvy series. Sometimes you just want a quick answer to a burning question. These shorter episodes are designed to give you just that. Tune in to the podcast to hear the whole scoop, and check out the show notes for helpful tools and information. If you’d like to submit a question, click here to Contact Us. 

Dear Savvy, Will talking to my kids about pornography ruin their childhood innocence? 

Dear Listener, 

Your concern about the “porn talk” is understandable. It’s natural to want to separate awful adult things (pornography) from the sweetness and innocence of childhood. So, let’s look at this in a different light. 

We teach kids their ABCs, how to count, and what foods to eat. These are building blocks of learning. And the basics for helping kids to grow up healthy and strong. We would never consider these things as ruining a child’s innocence. Yet, without our help they would not learn these things on their own. 

Talking to kids about the harms of pornography is the same. In our media-saturated world it has become an essential conversation. It’s another building block for growing up healthy and strong. When done well, it will no more ruin a child’s innocence than having them learn their ABCs. 

Important points discussed on the podcast today:

• Preparing is protecting. Sheltering is not an effective protection against pornography.
• Talking about pornography won’t ruin a kid’s innocence. Pornography (the sex industry) tries to do that. 
• Children are inherently innocent. Things may happen to them but that will not change the fact that they are still innocent children. 
• Our friend Kristen Jenson at Protect Young Minds says that talking to kids about pornography is like providing immunization. Give kids enough information to help them build up a resistance to pornography. 
• Children bring life and joy into this world. They make everything better. 
• Talking about pornography today helps kids become and do better—now and in the future.  

On a past episode we spoke with sex addiction therapist Paul Lavergne.  [See Ep. #2-17, Is My Child or Teen Addicted to Porn?] He describes the choices kids have to make when they encounter pornography. And exactly why as parents we need to have preemptive conversations:

“When kids are exposed to pornography they don’t have prior context or the cognitive development to understand what is right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy. In porn there are no boundaries or qualifying statements … There’s no disclaimer flashing across the screen warning, “THIS IS ABNORMAL ABHORRENT BEHAVIOR.” The information needs to come from us.” 

For more information…

Download our popular guide: 10 Surprisingly Natural Ways to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography. This guide will help you break the ice and bring up pornography through everyday interactions. 

Episode challenge

Help dispel the common myth that talking to kids about pornography will ruin their innocence. Talk to a peer, friend, or spouse about today’s episode. Emphasize that protective information can actually help kids get the most out of their childhood. 

Do you have a question for Melody & Marilyn? You can click here to Contact Us, email us at admin@parentsaware.info, or submit your question through any of our social media platforms. We’d love to hear from you!

Links/Resources

Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds (book) – for ages 3 to 7 by Kristen Jenson

Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids (book) – for ages 8 to 11 by Kristen Jenson

*Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, which means, at no additional cost to you, Parents Aware/Media Savvy Moms receives a commission if you click through and make a purchase. Thanks for helping to support us in our mission to protect families from the harms of pornography.

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Media Savvy Moms Podcast

Who knew honest conversations about parenting and pornography could be so approachable? Join Marilyn for a series of contemplations, chats, and interviews as she helps fellow parents tackle this challenging topic with their kids.

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