Bella Girl: Instilling Value, Beauty, and Purpose

When our girls look at the world around them, how do they feel? Important or insignificant? Adored or objectified? 

There’s a basic truth. It’s this, that all girls have value, beauty and purpose. Yet for so many the truth has been hidden. Thousands of girls in our cities and towns across this globe have never been told their worth. Bella Girl, a teen outreach program in Toowoomba, Australia, has made it their mission to change that! 

20 years ago, Letitia Shelton attended a large multi-faith conference. There she heard her mayor speak passionately about the youth of their city—their struggles and their hurt. The mayor then challenged those in the room to look beyond the walls of their separate churches. She asked them to reach out to the youth of their city and do something!

This is the week we celebrate International Women’s Day. What better way than to recognize a woman who was inspired by her female mayor to make a positive impact in the lives of girls in her city!

Related: Ep. #1.8, Moms Making a Difference: Instilling Core Values in Our Kids

Bella Girl beginnings

Charged with a purpose, Letitia and 5 other women sat down together. They asked themselves three questions: 

• How can we make our city better?
• What can we do to empower girls at risk?
• How can we work together on this project?

They started with Girls Getaway—a weekend camp for teen girls. Letitia is quick to point out that they really had no idea what they were getting into or where it would lead. They just wanted the girls of their city to know that their value was not tied to looks, boyfriends, money, or how they treated their bodies. 

The camp was a success! But also an eye-opener. They realized the needs of these teen girls could not be addressed properly in a single weekend away.

Today the 8-week Bella Girl program runs in more than 30 schools across Toowoomba. The Girls Getaway camps continue as a follow-up. Additionally, teen girls now have access to a weeknight support group.

What girls want and need

Letitia tells us that every girl repeatedly asks herself, “Does anyone love me?” And when that need is not being met in the home, she will look elsewhere for it.

Bella Girl adds stability to an otherwise tumultuous time in the lives of these girls. Within the program their confidence grows. Knowing that someone else believes in them, they start to believe in themselves too. They see being a girl as something to value. 

The value of male role models

In a world full of darkness and hurt, girls get caught in the crossfire. Abuse, neglect, exploitation, pornography—they all take their toll. In many circumstances, traumatized girls learn quickly to hate men. Why not? They’ve suffered violence or abuse at the hands of fathers, brothers and boyfriends.

But Letitia believes there is great power and healing where painful emotions can be defused. “Men have a big role to play in the healing of our girls,” she says. During a Girls Getaway camp a trusted man from the community is invited to speak. Part of his role is to apologize to the girls on behalf of the men who have abused and mistreated them. 

Letitia also shares with us tender stories about Grandpas and their essential role in these programs. 

Related: Ep. #1.10, A Father’s Letter to Porn

When confronted by genuine love

Working with traumatized girls is not easy. Volunteers understand that change won’t occur overnight. Inspiring girls to recognize their innate value, beauty and purpose takes time. In fact, girls often respond in anger. Being a recipient of genuine love feels very “confronting” at first. 

You have to be willing to let them hate you for a time (and call you all sorts of names). They’re testing you. They want to know that you’re for real. Keep showing up for them. Keep loving them. If you can get them to stay, they’ll eventually discover who they are capable of becoming. 

Beyond Bella Girl

There’s a worldwide attack on our girls. And that includes pornography. One 15-year-old girl recently told Letitia, “If she had a dollar for every time a boy sent her a picture of his penis, she’d be as rich as Bill Gates.” Porn culture has changed the landscape for teens dramatically: 

• Instead of becoming protectors, boys learn to be predators.
• Girls go to school having to work out, “How do I keep these boys off of me?”
• Girls see porn too and think this is how they’re to act—and it’s destroying them. 

After years helping girls, Letitia became more and more aware that pornography was fueling all the other issues. This time she was the one to set up a meeting with the mayor. Letitia challenged her to see the link between pornography, sexual abuse, and domestic violence. 

To them it was obvious what needed to be done. They came up with an awareness campaign called City Free From Porn. That might sound like a crazy-impossible idea. But it has been running in Toowoomba successfully for the past four years. 

Listen to the podcast to hear their progress of this campaign. Plus, how two other national governments have enlisted Letitia’s help on similar initiatives. 

Related: Ep. #1.21, Campaign for a Porn-free Childhood with Melissa Blair, speaker and activist

A measure of success

When asked, Letitia was extremely modest about the impact she’s had on her city (not to mention, the lives of thousands of girls!). But she did admit to success in three key areas: 

• Being able to provide good programs over a long period of time. 
• Working with women to bring churches together to help more women. 
• Encouraging other communities (and nations!) to do the same. 

Episode challenge

Look around you.  Ask yourself, “How can we look after the children in our city better? What are their needs? What are their issues? What is their cry?” Then reach out. Become a part of the solution. Visit the City Women Website and learn more about what they are doing to help.

Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed the show, please leave a positive review or tell a friend!

More about today’s guest

Letitia Shelton is CEO of City Women Toowoomba in Australia, an organization concerned with making their city a better place for women and girls. City Women started with teen camps for girls. In the process of reaching out their eyes were opened. In seeing the brokenness of so many lives the organization expanded to meet more needs. Today City Women runs 20 separate projects, with over 200 volunteers, working together to bring healing, hope & redemption to so many in their city.

Start Talking Today

Want to start talking to your kids about tricky topics, but don’t know how? We’ve got you covered! Click below to download our FREE guide, 10 Surprisingly Natural Ways to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography.