Back to School Basics for Open Communication and Tech Safety

Let’s talk about keeping the conversation going now that school’s back in session.

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Don’t you just love the school routine (cue eye-roll)…lunches, homework, extracurriculars? It’s go, go, go! Plus, there are all of the forms to sign! Every afternoon I see a new stack waiting for me on the kitchen table. As much as I loathe paperwork it has provided me with a natural opportunity to talk to my kids again about pornography. Believe it or not, it can for you too. To find out how watch the video below or continue reading:

Creating layered conversations

If you’ve already laid the groundwork—meaning your kids know what pornography is, why it’s dangerous, and what to do when they see it—fantastic work! If not, read Three Proven Concepts to Get You Off the Fence and Talking to Your Kids About Porn. As you’ve probably guessed, this is not a one and we’re done event. Rather, it’s a conversation that should evolve and grow over time to meet your child’s needs and comprehension.

As I type I can almost hear you groaning, Oh sure! That’s great in theory, but how do I bring the topic of pornography up over and over again without sounding like a broken record?

I get it! I’ve had those exact same worries. The truth is, opportunities to talk our kids about the harms of pornography present themselves more often than we realize. There are unlimited ways to bring up the subject. None of which need to sound forced or scripted.

Tech in the classroom, safety at home

So let’s get back to that pile of papers.

Locate the form titled Acceptable and Safe Use of Technologies. Perhaps your school calls it something slightly different, but I promise you have it lying around somewhere. It’s the one that every student and their parent is required to sign stating they have read and agree to the terms of use for computers and other technologies accessed through school. (Note: my son’s high school sent an electronic version to my email).

Once it’s located you’ll recognize the typical we-have-to-cover-our-butt jargon. The letter is obviously written to ensure the school won’t be held liable for any inappropriate content that slips through it’s filtering software. The letter is lengthy and not the most reader friendly. You may be tempted to just sign it and be done. After all it’s the same, dare I say, broken record every year.

Think of it as one of the many regular opportunities you have to talk with your youngster about behaviours they should expect and tolerate from classmates. Use the letter as a guide to help your child learn what are the acceptable, safe and appropriate ways to use technology. Conversely, dismissing the letter could send a subtle message that you’re not approachable or interested when something does go awry in the classroom.

No matter what grade my child is entering—kindergarten through high school—we go over all the key points of this document in a language they can understand. Schools are embracing technology. Often personal devices are not only permitted but encouraged in the classroom as a learning aid. This year many school boards are issuing Google Chromebooks to students in grades 7 and above. But it’s important to remember that the onus remains with the parents to ensure their child’s safety on these devices at home AND at school.

Dialogue with your child

The letter we have contains very broad and generalized statements. For example:

I will never use the school’s computing technology for Cyber-bullying, visiting unacceptable sites, and/or illegal activity.

This is a good time to pause and ask questions. Think about how your child might interpret the terms mentioned above. Then start a dialogue

• What is “cyber-bullying”? Could this happen to you?
• How do you know if a website is “unacceptable”?
• What kind of “illegal sites” do you think someone at your school could find?
• What would you do in any of these situations?

The questions you ask and how your child answers will depend on their age and experience. Most important is that they know how to recognize and respond to a dangerous situation. When I have this kind of back and forth discussion with my own kids, it leads us to review without any awkwardness:

• What pornography is,
• Why it’s dangerous, and
• What to do when we see it.

Partners in the community for child safety

Of course you don’t need your school’s Acceptable and Safe Use Policy (or Internet Safety Contract) to have this conversation. But it is an advantage for kids to know that their parents, teachers and school administrators are all on the same page with their concern for safely. Plus, it’s an easy way to bring up what can feel like a difficult subject.

When we show our kids how to seek out the best and reject the rest, we give them the opportunity to grow into wonderful, tech savvy adults—ready to change the world!

Join the Parents Aware community

Parents Aware is a little organization with a big heart. We consider pornography a public health crisis. Our mission is to have solution-focused discussions about the harms of pornography that relate to everyday parenting.

This is a forum for sharing concerns, ideas and successes. It’s our goal to support one another as we all work towards the same objective. We hope that you can continue to look to the community for ideas, support and success stories. Discover how you can contribute to this community and its cause. It’s easy:

• Share this post on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter or via email.
• Subscribe to Parents Aware. We’ll send you regular updates and let you know each time we publish a NEW video podcast or blog post.
• Contact us if you have a question  to ask, or a story, or experience to share. (We can even help you get the words written.)

Together we can help raise a generation resistant to the damaging effects of pornography! If you are interested in receiving regular updates from us, please fill out the attached form.

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Marilyn

Marilyn has an educational background in family processes and believes that even the most difficult conversations with our kids can be made easy. She loves to share her own experience of parenting in the digital age through writing, live speaking presentations and everyday conversations.

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