Parents everywhere are mourning the loss of “the most wonderful time of the year”—that sweet spot when our lives return to a predictable routine. (Or so we like to tell ourselves!) With COVID-19, the return to school looks different. Thousands of families have started out the year in virtual school—at home. As the weeks go on, they’re discovering that it’s anything but normal.
It doesn’t seem to matter if we’ve got one child at home or multiple children, the consensus is the same. Virtual school is tough—mentally, physically, and emotionally—on everyone! Let’s face it, school is more than just learning ABCs and 123s. It’s about social interaction, movement, collaboration, school spirit, and more. And it feels impossible to simulate that experience sitting at a desk, at home, connecting through a screen.
Related: Ep. #2-37, Dear Savvy: Is virtual school safe for kids?
Parents are understandably anxious. Never before has it been mandated that kids spend this much time in front of screens for learning. In fact, there are compelling arguments to say that less time with screens (even for educational purposes) the better. So what do we do? How do we make the best of the situation we’re in? Today, we’re sharing three main ideas for creating a safer, more successful, more joyful (okay, okay … more tolerable) virtual school experience in your home.
- Acknowledge the downside of virtual school and highlight the benefits.
- Design your child’s learning environment to promote screen safety and academic success.
- Plan your day in blocks. Decide together what kids can do after their online lessons.
The upside-downside of virtual school
There’s very little about 2020 that fits our expectations of what is normal. (As if that’s not stating the obvious!) But have we adjusted? Or are we trying to hold on to what we’re used to, catch up as best we can, and complete this year according to pre-pandemic standards and expectations? Child and adolescent psychologist, Dr. Emily W. King has this advice, “Do not go into this year with 2019 goals. This is 2020. Have 2020 goals. Safety. Connection. Mental wellness. Physical health. Maintain relationships.”
Related: Ep. #2-11, HELP! What Do I Do with Kids at Home? Parenting & COVID-19 with Greta Eskridge, home educator @maandpamodern
We know it’s hard. But try to get psyched for a new year with new possibilities! To do this, acknowledge and address concerns. We suggest a quiet heart-to-heart. Ask your child outright, what’s their biggest frustration with virtual school. Let your child know that you will do your best to help them solve this problem. Likely, you won’t have an immediate solution. But you could write it down. If appropriate, post it on the fridge. Check back periodically.
Whenever kids are on devices there is an increased risk of digital danger—either at home or at school. One upside to virtual school is that you have more oversight as to how your kids are engaging with technology for learning. If you have any concerns about any aspect of home learning or screen safety, talk to your child’s teacher and your school’s admin. Their plan may look great on paper. But you’re at home, living it in real life. Be courteous with your communication. But keep them up to date on how your child is adjusting and adapting.
Related: Ep. #2-8, 5 Parenting Rules to Live By: Surviving the Digital Age
Design for success and safety
How kids physically enter virtual learning each day can prepare them mentally for success. Kids are used to organizational structure at school—desk, chair, and storage for personal items. We’re not suggesting that you go Pinterest-crazy, but do put some thought into where different learning activities will take place in your home. Yes, you may need to give up your dining room for a time. We recommend:
- Open or shared work space for online learning
- A quiet nook for books and reading
- A place for crafting and projects
Of course, all this virtual schooling will likely coincide with mom or dad putting in a full day at work. Every family will have different challenges. (It ain’t gonna be easy!) With one child at home, try setting up school and work in the same room (earbuds to the rescue!). When you’ve got multiple children at home, match up bigs with littles. At school, kids are taught to problem solve together and are often matched with peer-mentors in higher grade levels. Use this same structure at home.
Be mindful that screens have a way of interfering with natural stopping cues (hints that it’s time for a break). Teach kids to give their body the care it deserves. Drink water. Use the toilet. Stretch and walk around. If your child’s teacher hasn’t already taken the initiative, insist that they be reminded to walk away from their screens at regular intervals. As always, frequently discuss online safety with your child. Use our Quick Guide to Safer Screen Habits in your next Family Power Meeting to help guide the discussion.
Plan your day in blocks
When virtual school is finally done for the day, it can be tempting to allow kids to “unwind” with a few minutes of video games. Stop. Put on the screen brakes. Let your kids switch gears. It’s not that screens are bad. It’s just that there are so many other things to do that are better! Get your kids to decide with you what priorities come first. We’ve got three suggestions:
Daily Physical Activity. Get outside everyday. Do this immediately after your child’s last online class. And if the weather doesn’t cooperate then be active indoors. But do something, anything that helps kids transition away from screens.
Household responsibilities. Chores don’t have to be a chore. Kids thrive when given responsibilities appropriate for their age. Chances are there’s a list of things around the house that need to be everyday. Involve your kids. No, they may not LOVE taking out the trash. But they can do it and they’ll be learning important life skills to boot.
Designated reading time. Everyone can benefit from getting lost in a book. Reading can look different for different ages and abilities. Some kids love to get lost in a novel. Others prefer non-fiction, graphic novels, audio books, or even coloring books. Don’t force it. Any quiet meditative time will do.
And yes, it’s okay to spend some time on screens for entertainment each day. Just be mindful of when and how you want that to happen. When priorities are front, center and done everything else should fall into place.
Related: Ep. #2-35, Dear Savvy: What are the screen time recommendations for different ages?
Episode challenge
Take some time this week to ask your child(ren) how they’re feeling about their school experience so far this year. Play “High/Low.” Get them to tell you things they have enjoyed (the Highs) at school this week. (It’s always good to bring out the positive.) Then listen to their frustrations (the Lows) and see if you can address them together.
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Links/Resources
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