10 Natural Ways to Start the Porn Talk

You know it has to be done. The porn talk. Cue the sweaty palms and racing heart. And what about our kids? How do we pull this off without stressing them out? Wouldn’t you like to know?  

This show is actually a sneak peek of the content in our FREE guide, 10 Surprisingly Natural Ways to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography. Find the link at the end of this post. You’ll get awesome ideas for starting great discussions with your kids. All in surprising natural ways! 

You’ve got questions. We’ve got answers.

Most parents know they need to talk to their kids about pornography. They just get stuck on how to do it. It’s the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about. It feels scary, awkward and uncomfortable. 

A lot of parents also wonder when they should start the porn talk. Our answer is always the same—start today! 

Do you have young children? No worries. Everything we talk about in this episode can be adapted to any age. Maybe you have teens? That’s good too. Research shows that teens actually want their parents to start honest conversations with them about sex and pornography. 

Related: Teens Reveal 8 Ways to Build Up the Courage to Resist Porn

3 ways to start the conversation

In today’s episode we’re discussing 3 different ways to bring up the porn talk with your child or teen. Our goal is to prove to you that you can do this without scaring your kids, weirding them out, or making them feel like they’re under attack.

Sound too good to be true? Well, it gets better. Scroll to the end for your free downloadable guide, 10 Surprisingly Natural Ways to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography. 

1. Honesty is the best policy

What’s that you say? … You’re not comfortable talking about sex or porn with your kids? Huh. You must be human! 

It’s really okay if you’re nervous and uncomfortable with the topic. Just tell your kids exactly how you feel. Get your anxiety to work for you! Keep repeating to yourself: 

• Kids appreciate honesty
• Children are very forgiving
• Your bravery will be inspiring
• Kids want/need you to bring this up
• Vulnerability builds bonds of trust 

Also … guess what? Even those of us at Parents Aware/Media Savvy Moms weren’t always this amazing talking to our kids! It takes practice. Tune in to the episode to hear Marilyn’s confession about how she used to be extremely uncomfortable tackling tricky topics and pretty much avoided anything that didn’t involve rainbows, butterflies and unicorns!

Related: Ep. #1-16, Sex Talks Run Amok: Laugh, Relax and Carry On

2. Media messages can be a springboard

We all know that we are constantly bombarded by inappropriate messages EVERYWHERE. (We talk about this on the show all the time.) But this can actually work to our advantage when we want to start the porn talk with our kids. 

For instance, many movies and TV shows make jokes or other references to pornography. When this happens, ask your kids to think critically about the underlying message. For example, what impact could this kind of content have on adults, younger children, teens or kids their age?

In a way, this is the easiest way to start a conversation. Think about it. We aren’t calling our kids out on a certain behavior, or targeting them personally. Instead, we are calling out society and saying, “Hey, what do you think about that?!”

Resource: Petra’s Power to See: A Media Literacy Adventure (book)

Still, you might be wondering, is it important to address inappropriate content each time it crosses our path? Like … every … single … billboard, magazine cover, commercial, and storefront? (Yup, were talking about you, Victoria’s Secret!) 

And what about the little boy who told his mom (Marilyn’s friend), “But the women are so beautiful. I like to look at them.” Listen to the podcast to hear us discuss these questions and more! 

Related: Proactive Parenting: Teaching Young Children Resilience Against Pornography

3. Brain science rocks!

Kids generally like learning facts and information about the body. In recent years, science has made great strides in understanding the brain and how it responds to things like pornography. 

In the past, we’ve mentioned great allies like Fight the New Drug (for teens) and Protect Young Minds (for younger kids) that rely heavily on brain science to help protect kids from pornography. We love these resources!

Related: Ep. #1.9, My Child Saw Porn, Now What? A S.M.A.R.T. Plan for Parents, with Kristen Jenson, founder of Protect Young Minds

It’s easy to use science to start the porn talk with your kids, because you’re just giving them the facts! One way might be to find an informational video that shares your values and watch it together. Here are a couple of suggestions: 

• For teens: Brain, Heart, World 
• For younger kids: What Should I Do When I See Pornography? 

Hint: Preview the video before you watch it with your child, so you are prepared and know what to expect. Then watch it together, discuss and see where the conversation takes you.

Episode challenge

Now that you’re all pumped up, we challenge you to start a conversation with your kids within the next 3 days! Download our FREE guide, 10 Surprisingly Natural Ways to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography, and then pick an idea off the list and start talking! 

For extra help, pick one of the three ideas we talked about in the episode (Honesty, Media, Brain Science) and use the links and resources in our show notes above. 

You can do this! We’re cheering you on! And if you want even MORE help, you are always welcome to Contact Us. Send us your questions. We’re here for you!

Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed the show, please leave a positive review or tell a friend!

Links/Resources

30 Days of Sex Talks for Ages 3 to 7 (book)
30 Days of Sex Talks for Ages 8 to 11 (book)
30 Days of Sex Talks for Ages 12+ (book)

Good Pictures Bad Pictures (book) – for ages 8 to 11
Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. (book) – for ages 3 to 7 

*Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, which means, at no additional cost to you, Parents Aware/Media Savvy Moms receives a commission if you click through and make a purchase. Thanks for helping to support us in our mission to protect families from the harms of pornography.

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Media Savvy Moms Podcast

Who knew honest conversations about parenting and pornography could be so approachable? Join Marilyn for a series of contemplations, chats, and interviews as she helps fellow parents tackle this challenging topic with their kids.

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